Movie Reviews, Not Books

Letterboxd Gems VI

Hi everyone! Time for another edition of Letterboxd Gems. As a reminder: every so often I’ll post particularly funny or entertaining Letterboxd reviews from movies I’ve seen recently. If you’ve never heard of Letterboxd, it’s like Goodreads but for movies (feel free to add me if you’d like!) and there are plenty of interesting reviews. I’ll usually sift through them after seeing a film, which is how I got the idea to share them! A lot of these reviews will have spoilers, so feel free to skip through only to films you’ve already seen if you’d like to avoid being spoiled.


Evil Dead II [1987]

not a phone in sight, just Bruce Campbell screaming like a madman

letterboxd user uncutgems

everyone talks about the “groovy” line but when ash points a gun to the camera and says “swallow this” i can feel my soul leave my body

letterboxd user elementarii

the SECOND ‘a farewell to arms’ came into frame, it was 5 stars

letterboxd user kurstboy

Host [2020]

the awkward elbow bump they did to remain social distanced while being attacked by demons was the funniest shit i’ve seen in my life

letterboxd user mank

unfriended (2014): who are you?
host (2020): i’m you, but stronger

letterboxd user filmgraphy

Nobody:

Literally not a single soul:

Jemma: I’m going to create an environment that is so haunted

letterboxd user sapphicquinn

Searching [2018]

Bieber concert (confirmed)

letterboxd user lillfer

david moving “margot_fathersday.mp4” to trash and then emptying the trash was the saddest shit ever

letterboxd user namelessvero

if someone tried to facetime me i would call the cops too

letterboxd user minick

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Movie Reviews, Not Books

Letterboxd Gems V

Hi everyone! We are WELL overdue for another edition of Letterboxd Gems. As a reminder: every so often I’ll post particularly funny or entertaining Letterboxd reviews from movies I’ve seen recently. If you’ve never heard of Letterboxd, it’s like Goodreads but for movies (feel free to add me if you’d like!) and there are plenty of interesting reviews. I’ll usually sift through them after seeing a film, which is how I got the idea to share them! A lot of these reviews will have spoilers, so feel free to skip through only to films you’ve already seen if you’d like to avoid being spoiled.


Ex Machina [2014]

did you see the naked ladies in this movie? oh man. more like sex machina. okay well you guys take it easy.

letterboxd user billryan

I need more movies with ominous Oscar Isaac dance scenes.

letterboxd user impressionblend

ava be like of course i support men’s rights… men’s rights to shut the fuck up!

letterboxd user highlife

Creep [2014]

Let me be clear about this. In no context will I ever videotape someone’s tubby time for them.

letterboxd user juggernaut323

mark duplass saying “this is great huh. two guys having some whiskeys” has the same energy as “what’s better then this? just guys being dudes”

letterboxd user barbiesswanlake

this is anti-furry propaganda & i am all for it

letterboxd user bratpitt

Scream [1996]

Billy rlly said “you’ve been acting like such a bitch since ur mom died :/“

letterboxd user babydriverreal

ghostface when i don’t answer the phone for the 17th time: is this bitch for real

letterboxd user elementarii

billy and stu be like listen we just two bros 👬 being psychos 👻 no homo 🚫

letterboxd user suspirliam

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Movie Reviews, Not Books

Letterboxd Gems IV

Hi everyone! I decided to try a new thing here: every so often I’ll post particularly funny or entertaining Letterboxd reviews from movies I’ve seen recently. If you’ve never heard of Letterboxd, it’s like Goodreads but for movies (feel free to add me if you’d like!) and there are plenty of interesting reviews. I’ll usually sift through them after seeing a film, which is how I got the idea to share them! A lot of these reviews will have spoilers, so feel free to skip through only to films you’ve already seen if you’d like to avoid being spoiled.


The Wicker Man [1973]

See? It’s totally possible to soak your film in complex symbolism and mounting dread, while also filling it chockablock with tiddies.

Letterboxed user quantumpotpie

damn burning man was wild this year

letterboxd user diediedie

cop 4 crop

Letterboxd user kristenyoonsoo

The Platform

when we say eat the rich this isn’t what we mean

letterboxd user ethansreviews

the communist maniFEASTo

letterboxd user hollieamanda

location: underneath jeff bezos’ house

letterboxd user deathproof

The Other Lamb

Easily Daniel Radcliffe’s best performance

letterboxd user _jessilaw

midsommar lite

letterboxd user sophieturners

noooo michiel huisman don’t start a misogynistic cult ur so sexy haha

letterboxd user thejoshl

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Movie Reviews, Not Books

Letterboxd Gems III

Hi everyone! I decided to try a new thing here: every so often I’ll post particularly funny or entertaining Letterboxd reviews from movies I’ve seen recently. If you’ve never heard of Letterboxd, it’s like Goodreads but for movies (feel free to add me if you’d like!) and there are plenty of interesting reviews. I’ll usually sift through them after seeing a film, which is how I got the idea to share them! A lot of these reviews will have spoilers, so feel free to skip through only to films you’ve already seen if you’d like to avoid being spoiled.


It Chapter Two

pennywise literally dying because of his self-esteem issues…. i’m feeling very attacked

Letterboxed user Love, Nathan

i have many thoughts, but my main one is that pennywise sounded like winnie the pooh

letterboxd user sophie

It was very surreal to see a 3-hour movie where a bunch of adults gets together to verbally bully a little clown.

Letterboxd user Hungkat

Ready or Not

in the name of the father (parasite), the son (knives out) and the holy spirit (ready or not)

letterboxd user aliyah

heterosexual marriage should be illegal actually

letterboxd user sree

MCU (Midsommar Cinematic Universe)

letterboxd user Sarah

Girl on the Third Floor

The House that Jizz Built

letterboxd user Harry

I cannot overstate the sheer obsession this film has with the viscosity of cum, to the extent that I walked out of the cinema feeling as if I had some stuck in my hair.

letterboxd user Jamie Tram

Too many bodily fluids

letterboxd user Chadwin

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Movie Reviews, Not Books

Letterboxd Gems II

Hi everyone! I decided to try a new thing here: every so often I’ll post particularly funny or entertaining Letterboxd reviews from movies I’ve seen recently. If you’ve never heard of Letterboxd, it’s like Goodreads but for movies (feel free to add me if you’d like!) and there are plenty of interesting reviews. I’ll usually sift through them after seeing a film, which is how I got the idea to share them! A lot of these reviews will have spoilers, so feel free to skip through only to films you’ve already seen if you’d like to avoid being spoiled.


Coherence

Note to self: Do not make plans with anyone during celestial events

Letterboxed user russman

i understand that you’re supposed to be confused but half of the white people in this movie looking the same doesn’t really help either

letterboxd user lauren

???!!!!?????!?!?!?!?!?!????!?!!??!?!!?!?!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!???

Letterboxd user Eli Hayes

Knives Out

a really great who donut film

letterboxd user sree

no one has ever had as much fun as daniel craig was having during the filming of this movie

letterboxd user ellie

i related to harlan thrombey on a spiritual level because ana de armas could murder me and i’d still give her instructions to create a false alibi so that she could get away with it

letterboxd user Roberto

We Need to Talk About Kevin

oh man they REALLY should’ve talked about kevin

letterboxd user fiona

as soon as this movie was over i made an appointment for tubal ligation

letterboxd user Lulu

i love this movie and tilda swinton and ezra miller in his near crop tops but most of all i love my barren uterus

letterboxd user fiona

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Movie Reviews, Not Books

Letterboxd Gems

Hi everyone! I decided to try a new thing here: every so often I’ll post particularly funny or entertaining Letterboxd reviews from movies I’ve seen recently. If you’ve never heard of Letterboxd, it’s like Goodreads but for movies (feel free to add me if you’d like!) and there are plenty of interesting reviews. I’ll usually sift through them after seeing a film, which is how I got the idea to share them! A lot of these reviews will have spoilers, so feel free to skip through only to films you’ve already seen if you’d like to avoid being spoiled.


Shutter Island

I really relate to Leo in this because I also don’t trust anyone that isn’t Mark Ruffalo

Letterboxed user niceguys

take a shot every time leo reminds you he’s a fedrul you ess maashull

letterboxd user leslieburke

Wow Teddy’s dream journal must be wild

Letterboxd user ellefnning

We Have Always Lived in the Castle

constance: you should…you should…YOU SHOULD HAVE A BOYFRIEND 

merricat: *shocked in lesbian*

letterboxd user eely

In The Tall Grass

Lawn of the Dead.

letterboxd user nevermore1985

patrick wilson can make me eat dirt whenever he feels like it

letterboxd user magnetaire

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Movie Reviews, Not Books

The Staircase [series review]

The Staircase begins by setting the scene of a horrific accident: a woman, Kathleen Peterson, who had fallen down the staircase of her own home while her husband Michael was outside, far out of earshot. The emergency services call made by Michael upon the discovery of his wife is downright harrowing and raised goosebumps on my arms. It was clear he was devastated, hysterical even. While I found the story itself to be quite tragic, it all seemed to be rather cut-and-dry to me and I had to wonder how this was worth making a 13-episode documentary about. The Staircase’s biggest weakness is the lack of punch it brings to its beginning. Had I not heard people rave about it, I probably wouldn’t have even continued with the series but I just needed to know why it seemed to fascinate so many people.

While in cases like these it often seems easy to assume the husband is in the wrong, I just didn’t get that feeling here. I was confused as to why the police even thought something was amiss. To be honest, this is something that doesn’t clear up for me as the story continues. While the medical examiner stated that she didn’t find the wounds to be consistent with a fall, I never really understood why. There are conflicting testimonies surrounding this so-called fact and it seemed odd to me that a consensus couldn’t be reached. Without even substantial evidence that this was not the result of an accident, it was difficult for me to turn Michael Peterson into a perpetrator of what could not even be proven to be a crime.

The second episode set my anxiety in motion and made the whole series a lot more personal to me. The prosecution discovers that not only is Michael Peterson bisexual, but that he has had one-night stands with men throughout his marriage. Every person in Michael and Kathleen’s lives had vouched that they had a solid, loving marriage and had never witnessed anything less than pure devotion between the two. For some, this information proves that this was nothing more than a facade; after all, how can a marriage be truly blissful if one of the partners is seeking sexual satisfaction elsewhere? They alleged that this was proof that Michael had killed his wife.

The thing is, Michael shared that while he and Kathleen never explicitly spoke of the matter, there was a silent understanding. She knew he was attracted to men, she knew he sought out men sexually, and she was okay with it. While this seems to come down to whether or not you believe Michael Peterson is a liar, a male prostitute who Michael had solicited is later brought in to testify and seems to confirm this story. He shares that he had been involved with many married men and that most of the time, these men’s wives seemed to know and accept their husbands’ transgressions. He testified that Michael had not only told him the same, but also that Michael spoke highly of his wife and seemed to be deeply in love with her.

I was terrified that this documentary had set out to demonize a bisexual man in an allegedly open relationship of sorts. As a polyamorous bisexual woman, this really hits home for me. Luckily, while that seemed to be the prosecution’s argument, the documentary explored more of Michael’s side of the story and the defense tackled the subject quite matter-of-factly. Sadly, this seemed to turn Kathleen’s family on Michael. They truly believed there was no way Kathleen would have allowed this, that there was no way she could have known. In fact, one of her sisters even says in essence that if Michael could lie to them about being bisexual and sleeping with men, then it isn’t the least bit unbelievable that he could have murdered Kathleen. Statements like this got my blood boiling. While I can understand their point of view to a certain extent, a man not wanting to out himself does not equate to murder.

The prosecution also pulls out another surprise: Elizabeth Ratliff, who had been a close friend of the Petersons when they lived in Germany, died in a similar incident years earlier. While this seems damning in name, none of the evidence supported it as a homicide. The doctors in Germany had ruled this the result of a cerebral hemorrhage — Liz had been experiencing headaches for weeks beforehand and blood was found in her cerebrospinal fluid. The same medical examiner who had announced Kathleen’s cause of death as homicide also said that Liz had been murdered. I already didn’t trust this ME, and most of the evidence seemed to indicate otherwise, so this wasn’t a clincher for me.

There’s a bit more to the series, so I’d recommend watching it if you haven’t already. The above points were what drew my interest the most, though. I also found the “owl theory” quite compelling. Regardless, as Michael Peterson himself said, “Truth is lost in all of this now… This has become a show.” Don’t come to The Staircase looking for answers, come to The Staircase if you have an interest in true crime and the inner workings of the criminal justice system. You are not going to find out without a doubt who killed Kathleen Peterson, but you will see how a (relatively privileged white male) defendant moves through the system.

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Movie Reviews, Not Books

Happy Death Day 2U [film review]

Happy Death Day 2U [2019] directed by Christopher Landon
my rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️.5
rotten tomatoes: 68%

I’m a little biased because I’m writing this after listening to the Brunch review, but I do agree with a lot of their points. Their main issue with this sequel was that it lost sight of the original movie. In a way, I agree with that. It skips from horror to sci-fi, with some thriller elements. Still a dark comedy, but not in the same way the first one was. There is a hefty bit of suicide that comes across darker than intended. And honestly, the whole thing ended up pretty jumbled. They never made it clear how any of the science actually worked. The multiverse theory is briefly explained, but there are so many questions surrounding most of it. I’m not looking for scientific accuracy here, but a cohesive explanation would be nice. Also — you find out that she only lived through the same day 11 times in the first movie. I just don’t find it believable, it had to have been more than that. Especially with how hard she fell for Carter.

On the other hand, there were a lot of elements I really enjoyed! The humor was still there in a big way. I laughed out loud multiple times in the theater, something I rarely do. I’m sure I’ll re-watch it. I still enjoyed Tree a lot as a character, and think Jessica Rothe was just spectacular as her. I really liked the examination of her relationship with her mother and her grief, which I think went underexplored in the first movie and were used more for filler than anything else. I’ll be real, I almost cried watching this. That is not something I could have anticipated.

Overall, I liked it. There were a few bits that dragged on too much and plenty that could have been cleaned up, but it’s a fine addition to the franchise. I’m not sure I liked the idea of the possible third movie hinted at, but I guess we’ll see what happens.

Letterboxd Highlights

i’d die 12+ times for jessica rothe too

https://letterboxd.com/dianaprinceisbi/film/happy-death-day-2u/

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Movie Reviews, Not Books, Personal

Movies I Want to Watch in 2019

With the Oscars coming up, I’ve been thinking a lot about the movies I intended to see in 2018 and didn’t. I rarely make it out to the theaters, so I mostly end up watching whatever is included with Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime. I also usually end up watching movies with my sister, so most of the time we choose horror movies or comedies (a weird combo, but oh well). So, I figured I’d take some time to share with you all a few movies I’m hoping to watch this year. A lot are from 2018, but there are some older ones in here as well!

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse [2018] is everything everyone’s been talking about for the last month or so. This is one I’ll probably try to get to while it’s still in theaters, since I think it’ll be worth it to see it on the big screen!

My sister and I watched the original Halloween in preparation for Halloween [2018] and then… never saw it in theaters. Hopefully we’re able to find it streaming somewhere soonish.

I’ve been meaning to see the original Suspiria [1977] for quite some time now, but the remake definitely makes it feel a little more time-sensitive. So I’m hoping I manage to get to this one sometime in 2019!

I really don’t know how I haven’t seen The Shape of Water [2017] yet. I meant to see it in theaters, and then missed it, and then just… never saw it. Part of it is definitely that my sister has absolutely no interest in seeing it. So hopefully I’ll get to it sometime when she isn’t around, ha.

Gimme that gay shit!!! I’ve been wanting to watch The Miseducation of Cameron Post [2018] since I heard it was getting made into a movie, but just haven’t known where to find it. BUT! It looks like it may finally be on Amazon Prime, so I’ll have to check it out.


How many of these are on your watchlist?
Feel free to add me on letterboxd, as I am always looking for new friends and have been in quite the movie-watching mood lately.

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Movie Reviews, Not Books

Lady Bird [movie review]

Lady Bird Movie Poster

Lady Bird [2017] directed by Greta Gerwig
my rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
rotten tomatoes:
100%
Spoiler-free Review

I recently saw the previews for Lady Bird and knew it was something I was going to have to see. The scenes selected for the trailer made it look like a comedic, emotional coming-of-age film. Going into the theater I was very excited, and this movie definitely delivered!

I haven’t been a teenager for a little while now, but I found Christine (“Lady Bird”) to be an extremely relatable character, when I thought about myself at her age. She was awkward, naive, and certain she knew everything she needed to. Also refreshing is the fact that Saoirse Ronan actually looked like a teenager. Too often we see teenagers in media portrayed by much older adults, and it’s usually pretty obvious.

The whole film felt so authentic to me, from the settings to the actors. It felt like it was all pulled straight from real life. Usually I don’t love movies with slow-moving plots that are character centric, but this was so well-done that I didn’t mind at all. It did feel like it dragged on just a little too much, but maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, I highly recommend y’all give this a watch! It’s one of the best movies I’ve seen in the entirety of 2017.

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